Let’s start with the don’ts: 

  • First: Skip the clichés, like “It's not you, it's me." And “You deserve better.” Because they’ll think: “If I'm so awesome, why don't you want me?” Instead, be honest about why you want to end the relationship. Of course, they won’t want to hear you don’t love them anymore. But they’ll get past it faster if they know the truth. 
  • Another don’t: Never break up by text message, email, or a sticky note slapped on the fridge. It shows a definite lack of respect. And remember, you did love them once. They deserve a face-to-face break up. The only time they don’t, is if you’re afraid they’ll get violent. 
  • Also: Don’t give them false hope, like saying, “We need to take a break,” or “I need some space to figure things out.” If you truly want out, say so. Don't try to let them down easy – you’ll give them false hope and they won’t be able to move on. 

Okay, so what should you do when you break up? 

  • First: DO make sure you actually break up. In other words, make sure you tell them it’s over. Don’t just disappear or stop calling. That’s cowardly, and leaves too many unanswered questions. 
  • Also, make sure they know you won’t change your mind. If your ex questions your decision, gently remind them that you’re not going to get back together. Because the healing can’t start until you both start moving on.
  • And experts say the best place for a breakup is the dumpee’s kitchen table. It allows you to sit, but lacks intimacy. They’ll be on their turf, so they can react any way they want. It also allows you to leave. Because breakups affect us psychologically and physically. And people who are upset and emotional afterward are more prone to accidents and injuries.