Some relationship moves can backfire, and weaken your relationship. So, here are a few things you might want to reconsider:
- #1: Promising the moon and the stars. The problem: People who are head-over-heels in love tend to make more promises – and bigger ones. However, they’re not any more likely to keep them than less-gushy people, which means, your partner may be let down even more than someone in a less extreme relationship. What’s the fix? Johanna Peetz is a researcher at the University of Cologne, Germany. She suggests making small, concrete promises instead of aiming for the moon. In other words, don’t promise “I’ll never be late again.” Instead, try something specific and realistic, like: “Every night this week after work, I’ll be home in time to help with dinner.
- Another relationship move that could backfire: You don’t introduce them to your attractive and flirty friends because you don’t want them to be tempted. The problem: Removing temptations from their life may make them more likely to cheat. Why? Researchers at the University of Kentucky found that partners who were steered away from temptation felt manipulated, which reduced relationship satisfaction and commitment. It also made them more likely to be interested in “forbidden fruit.” The fact is, if someone’s going to cheat, they will whether you introduce them to your flirty friends or not. So, put the focus on creating a solid relationship, not manipulation tactics.
- One final relationship move that can backfire: You offer to split childcare duties right down the middle. A study at Ohio State University found that when couples attempt to pitch in equally, their parenting styles are more likely to clash, which can actually damage the family dynamic. So you’re better off splitting tasks, like one person is responsible for feeding, bathing, and bedtime stories, and the other is responsible for playtime, and lessons, like learning to tie their shoes.