Being in a happy marriage means a lot more than just having someone to come home to. It does wonders for your health, too. No one knows that better than Lisa Oz, who’s been married to renowned physician Dr. Mehmet Oz for 25 years. She says that her husband often talks about the medical virtues of wedded bliss: It can lower your stress levels, reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s disease, and even improve cancer survival rates. However, being happily married is the key. Lisa has a book called Us: Transforming Ourselves and the Relationships That Matter Most. In it, she talks about the challenges she and her husband have faced, and the strategies they use to stay connected and happy. Here they are, courtesy of Oprah’s “O” magazine.

• Have real conversations. When you and your spouse first got together, you didn’t spend your nights discussing the kids, bills, or the leaky roof. Yes, talking about that stuff is important, but it’s not nearly as valuable as staying emotionally in tune with each other. So, make a point of spending at least 10 minutes each day talking about something more meaningful than cleaning out the garage.
• Take responsibility. If there’s something in your marriage you want changed, do something about it yourself. For example, if you’re bored, don’t blame your spouse for being no fun. Enroll in a class, reconnect with friends, or go roller skating. Make your own fun. Be responsible for YOU.
• Fight clean. Dealing with conflict is part of any long-term relationship, so you need to know how to do it productively. Oz says that too often, an argument turns into proving that you’re right – which is overrated. One way to tell if you’re resolving disputes in a civilized manner is to record your argument, and then play it back later. Did you fight fair, or did you yell and scream? Were you condescending? Listening to yourself will help you approach issues more respectfully.