Wife Abandonment Syndrome Is a Painful Way for a Marriage to End

The truth is: Half of all marriages end in divorce. However, some breakups are more painful than others, like those that involve “Wife Abandonment Syndrome.” According to ABC News, that’s where a wife thinks she’s in a happy, stable marriage, until she finds a sticky note on the TV saying, “It’s over. I never loved you.”

Vikki Stark is the author of Runaway Husbands, and she learned about the issue firsthand. She was trying to decide what to cook for dinner, and her husband calmly announced that their 21-year marriage was over. When she posted an online survey asking if other women had had similar experiences, she got hundreds of responses. One husband told his wife: “I want out. You have knee problems, and I love hiking.” Another woman went to the airport to pick up her husband from a trip. When she couldn’t find him, she texted him, and he replied that he’d moved to California and filed for divorce.

So, is there one type of man who’s more likely to abandon his wife? Stark says, often they’re pillars of the community, like doctors, pastors, politicians, and Little League coaches. People who are very involved with their families. The reason it happens with pillars of the community is because they feel the need to show the world outwardly that their life is perfect – while inside they may be struggling with a lot of unhappiness. Most of the wives who’ve been abandoned claim they had no idea there was a problem, but when they looked back, they realized there were signs – they just missed them. So, how can you tell if your marriage is at risk?

• First, your husband’s habits change. Maybe he starts going to the gym every night. Stark says when someone drastically changes their habits, it’s usually because something’s wrong.
• Another red flag: Your husband’s teasing turns hurtful - especially in front of others.
• A husband may also physically distance himself before he makes a break. Say by going on a lot of business trips. Or even sleeping in the guest room.

If you see those red flags, do yourself – and your marriage – a favor, and see a couples counselor. You can find one at TherapistLocator.net.