Do you have a “dating checklist?" In other words, do you have a list of preferences that you “check off” to determine if someone is date-worthy? Like “must love dogs," “must be in good shape” or “must make a lot of money?"
According to psychologist Dr. Seth Myers, it’s normal to have a basic checklist to help mentally steer you toward “the one.” Because humans are hard-wired to seek things that are predictable since we associate predictability with safety.
But Dr. Myers says, using a checklist could backfire and become the reason you stay single. For example, a checklist is okay for personality traits, but you shouldn't have a checklist for physical traits. If you do, you're focusing too much on superficial qualities that won't sustain a relationship. However, we all have a certain type of person we’re attracted to, and that's okay.
But physical preferences should be wants not needs and knowing the difference between the two is crucial. For example, it's okay to want someone with supermodel looks, but that shouldn't be a need or a deal-breaker. Because in that case, you may overlook someone's character flaws just because they have Channing Tatum-looks.
However, you can be rigid with your checklist when it comes to personality and character traits; those ARE needs like Mr. Right NEEDS to be trustworthy, kind and adaptable. Those are qualities a relationship needs if it's going to last.
So be flexible about your wants, like: “I want a guy with a good job and a good body.” But prioritize your needs like: “I NEED a guy with integrity and intelligence.” Because the guy with integrity and intelligence can get a good job and hit the gym. But if he doesn't have those qualities to begin with, you'll be married to a rich set of abs and that won't make you happy in the long run.