Gentlemen, I hold in my hand the secret to getting a second date: According to a Stanford University study that analyzed more than a thousand first-date conversations, listening is the most important factor in whether a man and a woman hit it off. Specifically, how well the man listens and how often he responds with sympathetic phrases like, “That’s awesome,” or, “That must have been tough on you.”

The study’s lead author, sociologist Dr. Dan McFarland, says the reason why is simple: Women value communication above all else. In fact, when it came to giving a thumb’s up to a second date, how well a man listened was more important than his looks, social status, income, and life experience. In other words, guys, it’s better to spend your first date getting to know about her job and hobbies - than it is trying to impress her with stories about your big promotion or exotic vacation.

But, you can’t fake it. Along with analyzing what was said during the dates, the researchers also tracked the pitch and frequency of each voice. When men pretended to be interested, women recognized the difference in tone - and told the faker to get lost.