Here are the top things experts say you should never say to a mom:

  • First: You’re so dressed up! It sounds like a compliment, but experts say it sends the message to the mom that it’s surprising to see her look nice, and that she normally looks like a slob. Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo is a psychologist and the author of "Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness.” She says if you want a mom to know she looks good, say exactly that, like "You look good!” Because it’s a general compliment that’ll make her feel good, and not defensive.

  • Another thing not to say to a mom: "You look tired." Experts say a lot of people say that to mothers as a way of showing sympathy. But the tired mom in question will only hear: “You look bad!” So, experts say if you're really concerned about how she’s doing, ask, "How's everything going?" 



  • Then, beware of asking a new mom when she’s going back to work. It may seem harmless, but the decision of whether to go back to work or stay home with the baby is a hot button issue, and often a very emotional subject.

  • And the final thing to put on your “do not say to a mom” list: "I remember when my child was going through that phase. They’ll grow out of it." It sounds supportive, but experts say it comes across as patronizing. Also, it could be unintentionally hurtful, since the child may be acting up not because they’re in a “phase” but because they’re suffering from a behavioral issue or medical condition that parents don’t want to share, like autism. Instead, experts say you can offer support by saying "We went through something similar when our child was that age. It was really tough."