Here’s some intelligence for your love life with three ways to stay close to your partner from 3 different relationship books.

  • We’ll start with advice from Dr. Patricia Love’s book “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It” – but this can work for non-married couples too. She says, try to find nonverbal ways to connect with your partner after a fight. Bring him a cold drink, or give her a hug. Why does that work? Because feelings of shame and fear drain blood from the area of the brain that regulates language, making it harder for people to express themselves with words. So try expressing yourself with actions instead.

  • The next piece of advice: Do something nice for your significant other’s family and friends. That comes from psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Amen. He recommends proofing your boyfriend’s little sister’s resume – or offering to help your girlfriend’s best friend move. It’s a powerful bonding technique because it shows your partner that you care about the people who are important to them.

  • And the third piece of advice comes from the book “Kiss & Run” by psychologist Elina Furman. She recommends: Staying in the present. Obsessing about when, if, and what might happen if you take your relationship to the next level will rob you of the happiness that’s happening right now. So instead of worrying about what the future holds for you and your partner, ask yourself, “Am I getting what I want out the relationship at this moment?” If the answer is yes, moving forward will probably happen naturally.